whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
