God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
