i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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