well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
