i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
