I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
