Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
