Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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