I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
