i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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