Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
