All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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