3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I had to cum in my sink.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
