Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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