He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
As shirtless as possible
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
