dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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