Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
