I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
