I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
