I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
