I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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