I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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