My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
