My nipple is on Facebook.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
