He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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