In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
