i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
