All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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