Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
