Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
