can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
