I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
