Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
