I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
