i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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