The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
