Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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