He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dicks are not precious.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
