seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He had one of those small greek statue penises
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
