She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm at about main and main street
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
