so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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