when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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