umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
