He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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