Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
