Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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