i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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