So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
