last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
