i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
