omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He shit in the fireplace
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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