Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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